De 12 grundregler for film med seriemordere

Involving a Serial Killer

It’s Halloween and you know what that means, Hollywood blockbusters involving a serial killer. In honor of the season and the crowded genre, cannedjam presents to you The Do It Your Self Guide to Writing a Movie Involving a Serial Killer. The Do It Your Self Guide to Writing a Movie Involving a Serial Killer, or the DIYSGTWAMIASK for short, has been established by analyzing hundreds of hours of movies involving either a serial killer, mass murderer, homicidal maniac that has killed at least three people, or a spree killer.

Rule1. All movies involving a serial killer must have at least one black cop that is nearing retirement or has been recently suspended due to becoming overly obsessed with solving the case.

Rule 2. All movies involving a serial killer must make the audience believe at one or multiple points in the movie that said cop is in fact the serial killer.
Rule 2b. It is also acceptable as a replacement for Rule 2, that if the audience is never lead to believe that a cop is in fact the serial killer, that a superior officer/ internal affairs bureau or partner suspects that the cop is in fact the serial killer.
Rule 2c. In the event that both Rule 2 and 2b are not present in a movie involving a serial killer, than Rule 2c shall apply. Rule 2c states that at one point in the movie, the serial killer frames the cop for the murders. While the cop’s sergeant/lieutenant does not believe he is in fact the killer, the cop is still suspended as a result of negative media coverage and forced to hand in his badge and gun because of increasing pressure from the Mayor who is up for re-election. Shortly after a brief bender the cop continues to investigate, eventually solving the crimes, despite being repeatedly warned to stay off the case.

Rule 3. All serial killers in movies involving a serial killer must intentionally leave clues as to who their real identity is at all crime scenes as a result of their subliminal desire to either; a) be caught, or c) create a closer more personal bond with the cops who are trying to catch them.

Rule 4. The actual serial killer must be displayed on screen during the first 15 minutes of the movie as a very minor character without the audience realizing that they have just, in fact, witnessed the serial killer.

Rule 5. All serial killers in movies involving a serial killer must kill because of a desire to teach society a lesson. These lessons must involve reminding society that people are in fact self involved, overindulging, greedy whores.

Rule 6. All serial killers in movies involving a serial killer must be an over weight bald white man (think Butter Bean) or a thin, high cheek boned, white man with dark hair who frequently wears a hooded sweatshirt or a fedora.

Rule 7. At one point in all movies involving a serial killer, a montage of newspaper clippings prominently displaying headlines pertaining to the serial killer must be displayed. These clippings can either; a) be displayed during the opening credits, b) be displayed on a wall in the actual serial killer’s hideout, c) be pinned up on a wall in the office or home of the detective pursuing the case, or d) be laid out in a scrapbook kept by a past victim who was able to escape the serial killer, or by a family member (most likely a sister) of a victim who has become romantically involved with the detective who is pursuing the case.

Rule 8. Black and white crime scene photos must be displayed in movies involving a serial killer.

Rule 9. In movies involving a serial killer, the serial killer must have extremely elaborate and ironic ways of killing their victims. These overly elaborate ways of killing their victims will usually involve keeping the victim alive for a prolonged period of time, giving the victim enough time to reflect on their life.

Rule 10. The detective who is in charge of tracking down the serial killer in movies involving a serial killer must display a genius level of perception. He must be able to hone in on the most obscure clues. At one point in the movie he will be confused by one or most of those clues, only later to have an “ah ha” moment where he instantaneously figures out who the serial killer is. Most likely this will happen during a time when his partner is excessively talking to him, the audio of his partner’s voice will fade out as the detective visually locks in on a photo of the crime scene that is lying on his desk. The detective will develop flashbacks that tie together all of the clues. All of a sudden the audio of his partner comes back full volume asking, “Hey, are you even listening to me? He will then neglect to clue in his partner, only to say, “I got it, I got it! Come on, I will explain it to you in the car”.

Rule 11. At some point in a movie involving a serial killer, the detective and his partner will stumble upon the hideout of the serial killer. The serial killer will not be there but the pictures and artifacts that they find will be quite disturbing. While the detectives are there the killer will come home and startle them. All three will freeze and stare at each other for a split second. At this point the killer may overturn a table or throw something at the cops just as they draw their weapons. The killer will then run down a hallway or corridor as the cops shoot at him, missing with every shot, or causing minor injury.

Rule 12. It is always raining in a movie involving a serial killer.In order to write a successful movie involving a serial killer, at least 7 of the above rules must be followed. Remember, audiences who watch movies involving serial killers will frequently, throughout the movie, say, “It’s that guy”. Play on this by creating as many false leads as possible while employing the aforementioned rules. Good luck, and judging by the quality of recent movies involving a serial killer, we should be seeing your movie on a big screen in no time.

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